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Pope
Bellairs' references to the papacy are mostly regulated to his Catholic satire, Saint Fidgeta and Other Parodies, notably chapter five and a discussion on the "good, bad, and lost popes" of antiquity. As is noted, of course, "since no Catholic will be called upon to defend Good Popes, and since we know nothing at all about the Lost Popes, let us concentrate upon Bad Popes." Here the popes are utterly fictitious lampoons (we hope), including even a slight twist on the Pope Joan legend. Elsewhere, another imagined pope leads a hypothetical Third Vatican Council (scheduled for 1985). Bellairs’ papal parodies include:
- Ganymede V
- Spatulus III
- Sporus VI
- Pope at Vatican III (Unnamed)
Real popes also figure in the short comedic pieces: Pius IX's list (and probable list, had he lived long enough) of errors are discussed as are ways to improve the next pope's visit to the United States, after Paul VI's first pontiff visit to the United States.
In addition, there is also a short piece on the hoopla involved with inducting a new pope, as seen in the discussion of the Grand Central Schism. Here it's pope vs. antipope vs. any other claimant until it ends in a draw.
Other papal topics include:
Alfred Myers says he and John were both attracted to the rogues, eccentrics and general foul balls of the papacy than the much more numerous austere, competent and virtuous examples. "For example, there was Julius II, the warrior Pope, who would have been delighted to show Stalin how many divisions the Pope had.
"But our all-time favorite was Alexander VI - born Rodrigo Borgia and the father of the legendary Lucrezia Borgia who at one point was married to Giovanni Sforza (their wedding was held at the Vatican, no less). One truly important decision that Borgia did make was to partition the New World between Spain and Portugal, so they would develop their colonies without conflict. That's why Brazil occupies the Eastern half of South America today, while the countries along the west coast and Central America are Spanish. John and I used to joke that 'Alexander VI partitioned the New world with a turkey leg!' by which we meant that after a hard day of wenching in the Vatican, Alexander was probably stuffing himself at the banquet table when some couriers came in with a map and said, 'Excuse us Your Holiness, but we have this problem between Spain and Portugal that you have to decide.' Whereupon, Alexander probably grabbed the nearest implement from the banquet table - a turkey leg - drew it across the map without giving any thought to the matter, and then resumed his gorging. Well, we thought it was funny. I guess you hadda be there. Anyway, Bellairs tried to work the turkey leg bit into one of his early books, probably St. Fidgeta in fact, but he had to take it out because none of his editors could understand what he was getting at."
Bellairs’ collection of strange names for some of his other characters picked up something from Vatican history, too:
- Evaristus Sloane shares his name with one of the long-forgotten fathers of the church, Pope Evaristus.
- Zephyrinus the Anchorite shares his name with Pope Zephyrinus.
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