"The patroness of nervous and unmanageable children," according to The True History of St. Fidgeta, Virgin and Martyr [St. Fidgeta & Other Parodies, 11-26]. Born in Stercoraria, Gaul in 482 A.D., "her little life was rather dull, until her parents were overrun by a foraging band of Avars." Fidgeta was left in the care of her pagan uncle Leitotes, who sent her to pagan grammar school.... Her teacher, the notorious skpetic Putricordes, would frequently quote from Porphyry's now lost attack on Christianity. She was slapped to death in March of 489 and canonized in 490.
Her shrine is the church of Santa Fidgeta in Tormento, Italy, built on the spot where the saint appeared to Scintilla Sforza and where the Order of Faithful Fidgettines (O.F.F.) was founded. The Catholic Casting Company of Chicago built a statue of the saint for the shrine. The Apotheosis of St. Fidgeta was featured on the altarpiece.
Icons of St. Fidgeta have included the red slap mark on the cheek, the scholar's pen, and virgin's girdle. Her most famous apparition was her appearance near the city of Pinsk.
The remains of what is thought to be a medieval Fidgettine convent are located within forty miles of Retching-under-Tweed in England.
St. Fidgeta makes an appearance as a former Flimsy in Bellairs' second book, The Pedant and the Shuffly.
Artwork
- Apotheosis of St. Fidgeta (Rubens)
- Saint Fidgeta Chastised by St. Jerome (Caravaggio)
- Saint Fidgeta in Ecstasy (Fragonard)
Literature
- De Angelis discusses St. Fidgeta's role within the angelic hierarchy.
- Fidgetas Lied und der Deutsche Geist, Das (Schwiegermutter)
- Fidgeta and the Problem of the Catholic Artist in an Altogether Too Secularized Society (Laetare)
- Fragonards Fidgetabild und Romantische Weltschmerz (Schlechty)
Litany of Saint Fidgeta
Depending on what printing of the book one reads, this litany may or may not make a lot of sense. Careful reading of some versions present the following:
From the fear that also during the night the
can see our noses and that it will
make us crossed-eyed . . .
From the unaccontable feeling that we
Communists will crawl over the window
sill and take over and will we have
the strength to die for our Faith . . .
The litany reads correct in the Critic though the book's error (no doubt caused by a nervous and therefore jittery type-setting machine) was caught and corrected for later editions. Those still not understanding the point, switch the first lines of each verse and all will be revealed.