The introductory text of chapter five [St. Fidgeta & Other Parodies, 51] parodies the permissions that were required by canon law at the beginning of any book with religious or theological content. A certification called an imprimatur was granted, if approved, with "the idea was that a bishop had to express his permission to print the book, after an appointed clerical expert had examined it and declared that it contained nothing objectionable," says Bowen. For example:
Nihil Obstat [ Nothing stands in the way]
Father Someone, initials indicating degrees or membership in an order
Censor Deputatus [ Deputatus meaning 'deputed'] Imprimatur [Let it be printed]
So-and-so, Bishop of Such-and-such |
Therefore Omnis obstat, as you might imagine, means everything stands in the way. Myers adds, "This is a typical Bellairsian comment on the Church's attitude towards progress."
Bowen adds a few other comments on Bellairs's text: "Imprimatur is replaced, for reasons I can only guess at, by the family motto of Montressor, the narrator of Edgar Allen Poe's tale The Cask of Amontillado: 'No one injures me with impunity,' or in more American terms, 'I don't take any shit.' For whatever reason John has the bishop, whose name is another assortment of various words like the cardinal's, sign the first statement instead of the second one."
The Short Guide to Catholic Church History says, "there are only a few things the well-informed Catholic absolutely must know about Church history" [St. Fidgeta & Other Parodies, 51-63]. The topics are:
- Popes
- Good
- Bad
- Lost
- Schisms
- Grand Central Schism
- Heresies
- Econophanic Heresy
- Monophonic Heresy
- Scrupularian Heresy
- Old Carnards
- The Pope Joan Story: Many people believed a female Pope was once elected by mistake; this tale was really in regard to Pope Ganymede V, a "Pope of doubtful masculinity."
- The Galileo Story: People believed Galileo was imprisoned by the Inquisition for claiming the earth moves around the sun. In reality "Galileo just didn't have much proof for what he was saying, and the Church from that day to this has been opposed to the spirit of irresponsible criticism.
- The Tunnel from the Vatican to the White House: this old tale got started when Alfred Smith ran for President in 1928.
